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Let's see.....

Posted by Finndog Oct 29, 2012

      There's a pretty good chance that I may be non-committal. I'll get back to you. The Village Idiot.

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In case you're wondering.

Posted by Finndog Oct 26, 2012

      It's easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission. The Village Idiot.

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Loser.

Posted by Finndog Oct 22, 2012

      I attended a writers contest last Saturday, the same contest that I have won second place once and first place twice in the last three years. I read a Christmas story, not my best work, but still a good story. There was no second or third prize this year, only a cash prize for first place in one of three categories. I didn't win. I left feeling disappointed, and I realized with horror that I had become prideful and vain of my writing. Most of the writers who attend that contest are much older than me. The winner wrote a story that appealed to an older audience and it was somewhat religious in nature. He deserved to win and I didn't. It was a humbling experience and a learning experience. I will try again next year, but I will never go there expecting anything except fellowship. (And a free lunch.) Humbly, The Village Idiot.

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A little advice.

Posted by Finndog Oct 10, 2012

      If you are about to get up and stand on a table, you are about to make a fool of yourself. Then again, if you are about to get up and stand on a table, it's probably too late. The Village Idiot.

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Something for nothing.

Posted by Finndog Oct 1, 2012

I have posed the billionaire scenario to dozens of people, and I have heard every response from one day to ten years. I have pondered the question for years myself, and have had ample time to consider things like panic, doubt, insomnia and insanity. I have decided that I would risk ten days of my life in the billionaires room, and even for that length of time, I'm not sure if I could pull it off successfully. I'm very sure that no person could do 100 days and remain sane. Just putting that out there. Any thoughts? The Village Idiot.

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All or nothing.

Posted by Finndog Sep 28, 2012

     Imagine that I am a billionaire and I'm going to let you take as much of my money as you want. Here's how it works. I'm going to put you in a cement room with nothing in it except a mountain of dollar bills. There is a sink and toilet in the corner, and a dispenser where you can eat bread. It doesn't taste very good, but you can live on it. You have to count and wrap the money in one thousand dollar bundles. You can count as much as you want, but you have to count a minimum of ten thousand dollars a day. Finally, before you enter the room you must tell me how long you will stay in there. As long as you stay for your stated time, and as long as your bundles are counted correctly, you get to keep it all. If you miss your quota on any day, if you leave early, or if any bundle is off by even one dollar, you get nothing. How long will you stay in my room? The Village Idiot.

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I'd like to know.

Posted by Finndog Sep 25, 2012

      What's so great about sliced bread, anyway? The Village Idiot.

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Just wondering.

Posted by Finndog Sep 21, 2012

      What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way? The Village Idiot.

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No, it's not.

Posted by Finndog Sep 10, 2012

________ is NOT the new _______. The Village Idiot.

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Like father...

Posted by Finndog Aug 28, 2012

      Farmer Smith's son got sent home from school for stealing pencils from another student. "What were you thinking?" He fumed. "What would make you do such a thing? Stealing PENCILS? For Pete's sake, don't I bring enough pencils home from work?" The Village Idiot.

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What can you do?

Posted by Finndog Aug 23, 2012

      Farmer Smith and Farmer Jones sat in a bar. Farmer Smith said, "My wife has a really strange fetish. It used to happen once in a while, but now she does it all the time. I think I'm going to have to leave her." Farmer Jones said, "Really? What does she do?" Farmer Jones replied, "She dresses up as herself and then spends the entire day nagging me to death." The Village Idiot.

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You can't win.

Posted by Finndog Aug 15, 2012

      If you play RATT backwards, you hear a message from Satan. Even worse, if you play it forwards, you hear RATT. The Village Idiot

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Eagle Point

Posted by Finndog Aug 2, 2012

      I went on a family trip to Colorado when I was nine or ten years old. We spent several days in a rented cabin at a national park. Behind the cabin stood a hill, that to my young eyes seemed impossibly tall and very steep. I begged my father to let me climb it. He reluctantly agreed, and led me and my two sisters to the top, where we stood and looked down at the cabin and my mother waving at us. I still have a photograph of that moment. Later in the day, we were at the ranger station and I proudly informed the young man at the desk of my accomplishment and asked him what the name of the hill was, so I could write about it in my journal. Without missing a beat he said, "Eagle Point". The hill had no name, of course, and some might say that Ranger Rick was patronizing or even lying to me. It was years before I realized that. Whoever that man was, I owe him a debt of gratitude. He might just as easily have said, "It doesn't have a name, kid, it's just a stupid hill". Instead, he validated my mountain climbing and even enhanced it by giving my mountain a majestic name. I recently found the little journal I made of that Colorado trip and revisited many memories I had all but forgotten. If you ever get a chance, honor my long forgotten Ranger and name a mountain for a kid. The Village Idiot.

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So true.

Posted by Finndog Jul 26, 2012

      Ve getz tu suun oldt, undt tu layt schmardt. The Village Idiot.

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Give a guy a break.

Posted by Finndog Jul 25, 2012

      Farmer Smith sat in his living room watching T.V. when he heard a small knock at the door. He opened the door and saw a snail sitting on his porch. He picked up the snail and threw it as far as he could. Three years later, Farmer Smith sat in his living room, still watching T.V He heard another small knock on the door. He opened it and saw the same snail sitting on his porch. The snail looked up and said, "What was that about?" The Village Idiot.

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