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Don't Be Afraid to Use Pronouns!

Posted by CreateSpaceBlogger on Dec 22, 2011 5:00:10 AM

Imagine you're having coffee with your friend, Julie, and she says "Oh my gosh, I have the funniest story to tell you about that guy John I've been seeing!" You smile and sip your pumpkin spice latte, ready to listen.

Then imagine that Julie begins her story like this (read aloud for full effect):

"I knocked on John's door, and when John opened it, he smiled and gave me a hug. Then John asked me to come in, so I did. John and I sat down on his couch, and then John asked me if I'd like anything to drink. I said sure, so John poured us each a glass of red wine. Then John took my hand and said he had something important to tell me."

If you were Julie's friend, by this point you'd probably be wondering less about the story and more about what was wrong with her, because NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT. We already know that her date's name is John, so after the first reference we expect her to use the pronouns "he" and "him" to refer to him.

Unfortunately, many first-time authors act like Julie, i.e., they don't use enough pronouns in their writing. Instead they use a character's name over and over, both in dialogue and narrative, often multiple times in the same paragraph. It's distracting and annoying, and it's not good writing. Readers are smart, so respect them!

Read some of your own writing out loud. Does it sound like Julie? Remember, we have pronouns for a reason, so don't be afraid to use them!

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Maria Murnane is a paid CreateSpace contributor. She writes romantic comedies and provides consulting services on book publishing and marketing. Learn more at


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