Skip navigation
This discussion is archived

This Question is Answered (go to answer)

217,769 Views 733 Replies Last post: Feb 17, 2011 8:35 AM by M.S.Medic RSS Go to original post
  1 ... 45 46 47 48 49 Previous Next
Level 1 197 posts since
Jan 26, 2011
Currently Being Moderated
720. Sep 30, 2016 11:31 AM in response to: Galadriel
Re: Let's have a last minute pitch review party! Here's mine!

Hi, Barb,


Because of your ability to observe people, I bet readers have asked you whether this people are real. My answer is always, "Of course they're real--in may make believe world!"

 

The truth is, though, that we can't help but draw upon people we've known. We may not depict them in their entirety, but we use bit and pieces. At least I 've noticed this in my own writing!

 

Always nice to share with you.

 

Aida

Level 3 732 posts since
May 10, 2008
Currently Being Moderated
721. Feb 11, 2011 7:22 PM in response to: lakira
Re: Let's have a last minute pitch review party! Here's mine!

I've had people tell me one of the best things about my books is the dialogue. I guess when you know your characters (and people) well, it comes across. None of my characters talks like another; each has his/her own euphemisms, vocabulary and sometimes inflection.

 

Barb

Level 0 59 posts since
Sep 17, 2010
Currently Being Moderated
722. Feb 11, 2011 7:57 PM in response to: Galadriel
Re: Let's have a last minute pitch review party! Here's mine!

I hear you, Barb.  My book is almost totally dialogue, it's told from a interview point of view.  You only see the answers to questions being asked, and I had to adjust the dialogue to sound like teenagers, parents, teachers, pricipals...had to  change the way each of them spoke.  People tell me its very interesting how  they  can distinguish between them all.

Level 1 197 posts since
Jan 26, 2011
Currently Being Moderated
723. Feb 11, 2011 8:05 PM in response to: Galadriel
Re: Let's have a last minute pitch review party! Here's mine!

Hi, Barb.


I've just noticed mispelled words in my former posting! Blame that on fast typing ... and NOT re-reading this!


Your characters sound different from each other because you know them. It also helps to pay attention when your character all of a sudden doesn't sound like himself or herself. In doing that, you can bring the character back in line.


I have a character in my novel who is Cuban. She usually uses a very common idiomatic term at the end of some of her sentences when speaking to people. The contest was clear in stating that manuscripts should be written only in English. I wound up removing that idiomatic expression, and having her punctuate the sentence with a yes, followed by a question mark. It works well, because most people can imagine the inflection since many people speak Spanish here in the U.S.


Personally, should nothing happen with the novel in this contest, I'm going back to the original idiomatic expression. Why? Well, it's so endemic to this character, even though the substitution works well.

 

I intend to self-publish my novel on my own. Let's see what happens.

 

One never knows!

 

Aida

 


Level 3 732 posts since
May 10, 2008
Currently Being Moderated
724. Feb 12, 2011 5:00 AM in response to: lakira
Re: Let's have a last minute pitch review party! Here's mine!

The rules meant the entire manuscript had to be written in English, not an idiomatic expression--which is okay. That is part of your story and what gives your story flavor. I do not believe you needed to change that part. Always be true to your work.

 

My books have some words endemic to the world on which the characters live. By the descriptions, you can tell what they mean. If the expression is follwed by the English counterpart the first time it is used, then the reader will know what the idiomatic expressions mean thereafter.

 

Barb

Level 1 197 posts since
Jan 26, 2011
Currently Being Moderated
725. Feb 12, 2011 8:36 AM in response to: Galadriel
Re: Let's have a last minute pitch review party! Here's mine!

Hi, Barb,

 

In the original version of the novel, I did exactly what you suggested: I used the expression, and then followed up by the English counterpart. You're right. One must stay true to one's work.

 

What I did find out, though, is that in re-reading the novel, I made some excellent changes along the way, too. These I"m incorporating into my previous draft (the one that does keep the idiomatic expressions in Spanish). At least that was a great outcome.

 

Today I'm re-reading a novel that is half-way through, and re-outlining it. I found I had concentarted on a minor character, and forgot to follow the story arc.

 

Once I"m done, then I can type out a calendar (let'ts hope I keep to my routine!) and get on with it. I'm not entering this one in next year's contest. I don't know that it would qualify as it's a novel about faith and miracles.

 

Do you have long to go before finishing your next book?

 

Aida

Level 3 732 posts since
May 10, 2008
Currently Being Moderated
726. Feb 12, 2011 8:47 AM in response to: lakira
Re: Let's have a last minute pitch review party! Here's mine!

I have one chapter left--it's been that way for about a month. I need to get on with it so I can begin editing--but I've been through a lot this year and am emotionally drained.

 

Barb

Level 0 11 posts since
Jan 19, 2011
Currently Being Moderated
727. Feb 12, 2011 9:13 AM in response to: Galadriel
Re: Let's have a last minute pitch review party! Here's mine!

All right So now there is some activity in this forum I though only the ABNA forums were set on fire

People here's my pitch

Please give a feedback.

 

Twenty one year old James Gallagher wakes up after being in coma for four years, a result of a severe accident a few weeks before his high school graduation. He finds out that his parents, big-shots in the Silicon Valley, have been accused of corporate espionage and are now drowned in debts after losing millions of dollars.

 

In an attempt to restore the Gallagher family's name, James starts his career in the Silicon Valley as a website designer, with the help of his high school best friend, Nathan. A few days into his new job, James accidentally hacks into millions of smart phones across the country, thus qualifying himself as a grey hat hacker.

 

Impressed by James' hack, Nathan invites James to work with him and his friends; Rex, Steve and Dave who are all grey hat hackers and founders of a successful start-up company that creates games played on social networks.

 

In another part of the world, Steve's cousin Adrian creates a website that publishes confidential data of governments and other top organizations. Following the furor that is created Adrian is jailed. A plot is hatched by US secret agencies to assassinate Adrian. When Adrian's brother Morris comes to know of this, he starts causing havoc by hacking into banks, defense computers, hijacking airplanes using computers, etc and threatens to cause more damage to the nation, more than the two World Wars combined, if Adrian is not freed.

 

James and his friends use data from social networking sites and smart phones to trick many people into joining their quest to stop Morris from causing great damage to the nation. Will they be able to stop Morris?

 

"Slughound: A Cyber War Saga" is the story that revolves around social hackers and how they manipulate people over social networks.

 

Thank you all in advance

Level 3 732 posts since
May 10, 2008
Currently Being Moderated
728. Feb 12, 2011 10:19 AM in response to: desperate_sid
Re: Let's have a last minute pitch review party! Here's mine!

desperate_sid--Overall, not bad. I made a few changes below.

Barb

 

Twenty one year old  James Gallagher wakes up after being in coma for four years, a result of  a severe accident a few weeks before his high school graduation. He  finds out that his parents, big-shots in the Silicon Valley, have been  accused of corporate espionage and are drowning in debt after a three-million-dollar loss.

 

In  an attempt to restore the Gallagher family's name, James starts his  career in the Silicon Valley as a website designer with the help of his  high school best friend, Nathan. A few days into his new job, James  accidentally hacks into millions of smart phones across the country,  thus qualifying himself as a grey hat hacker.

 

Impressed  by James' hack, Nathan invites James to work with him and his friends:  Rex, Steve and Dave, who are all grey hat hackers and founders of a  successful start-up company that creates games played on social  networks.

 

In  another part of the world, Steve's cousin Adrian creates a website that  publishes confidential data of governments and other top organizations.  Following the furor that ensues, Adrian is jailed and US secret agencies plot to assassinate him. When Adrian's brother  Morris comes to know of this, he causes havoc by hacking into  banks, defense computers, hijacking airplanes using computers, etc, and  threatens extensive damage to the nation--more than the two World  Wars combined--if Adrian is not freed.

 

James  and his friends use data from social networking sites and smart phones  to trick others into joining their quest to stop Morris before it's too late.

Level 1 197 posts since
Jan 26, 2011
Currently Being Moderated
729. Feb 12, 2011 6:26 PM in response to: Galadriel
Re: Let's have a last minute pitch review party! Here's mine!

Only one chapter left? That's great.

 

You know, I had put the new novel aside for about three years. Well, now I'm sifting through the whole thing and I have several different outlines, chapters that I set aside in a file fbecause I wasn't sure if I wanted to use them, three different versions of the opening chapter, etc. So I understand you're being drained when you've been working on one novel continuously.

 

I can't wait until I just settle on one final outline--and I"m almost there--so I can continue. After that, with the exception of a couple of things, I"m deleting the rest

 

I think I got into this mess because I didn't follow my own rule: work through a first draft, and then take it from there.

 

Aida.

Level 1 197 posts since
Jan 26, 2011
Currently Being Moderated
730. Feb 12, 2011 7:16 PM in response to: desperate_sid
Re: Let's have a last minute pitch review party! Here's mine!

Your idea is interesting, but you have to make it stand out from the pack. There are many books which deal with topics similar to yours. That's not to diminish value of your writing, not at all. Notice I said you  have to make your manuscript stand out from the pack out there. After all, there's nothing new under the sun as they say, the difference is giving your story a twist.


Please try this site. I think it'll help you.


http://www.right-writing.com/pitch.html



Aida

Level 3 732 posts since
May 10, 2008
Currently Being Moderated
731. Feb 13, 2011 2:56 PM in response to: lakira
Re: Let's have a last minute pitch review party! Here's mine!

That's the 3rd in the series (I love these guys, but I want to move on). I already have 2 chapters of a book I started 1 year or 2 years ago. Also fantasy action-adventure. Different theme.

 

Barb

Level 0 6 posts since
Dec 30, 2010
Currently Being Moderated
732. Feb 14, 2011 8:02 PM in response to: JMCI
Re: Let's have a last minute pitch review party! Here's mine!

Amphimates

 

Oliver had a simple life and fishing was his passion. He embarks on a fishing trip with his friends, Jeff and Randall, that would take many turns and twists. It would prove deadly for some.  The trio encounter creatures never before seen known as Amphimates.

Oliver lives with his mother out West after a horrific childhood.  His father had attempted murder in the past and had returned to finish what he started.

Oliver has to survive more than just the creatures; he is in the fight of his life!

Level 0 12 posts since
Jan 20, 2011
Currently Being Moderated
733. Feb 17, 2011 8:35 AM in response to: Galadriel
Re: Let's have a last minute pitch review party! Here's mine!

I used Latin and Sumerian in my manuscript.

Actions

More Like This

  • Retrieving data ...