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6,306 Views 7 Replies Last post: Jul 13, 2014 9:18 AM by B.N.Carman RSS
Level 0 23 posts since
Dec 3, 2011
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Jul 12, 2014 5:17 PM

PITCH: Winter's Edge (Need Feedback)

I've just written a new pitch for my book, Winter's Edge. I'd like some feedback on it, and ratings from 1-10 on how likely you would be to read the book. Thanks so much.




Imagine if a supernatural power burst out of you when you were five-years old. A power that could level buildings. A power you didn’t know how to control. A power that could kill those you love. Ian Sharp kept this secret for nearly thirteen years, but everything changes when a covert mercenary group called the Hunters finds him on the last day of school. Running for his life, he unwittingly ends up in an underground city beneath the foothills of Denver called Winter’s Edge—a safe haven for people with powers. There, he meets Abby Pierce, the only natural-born citizen of the city, and the only one without special gifts.


Abby loves studying the ancient city built by giants before the time of the Flood, and she trains twice as hard as anyone else in the city. After luring Ian into a wager during the first training class, the two grow closer. But Abby can’t risk her heart when every guy who’s ever meant anything to her has left or been killed.


When one of the city’s Watchers is murdered, the citizens become suspicious of Ian. Fears of the murderer leaking the location of the hidden city to the Hunters causes problems for Ian and Abby. As everything in their world goes awry, Ian is forced to depend on the help of an insane, teleporting monk. Through massive tornadoes and betrayal of the worst kind, Abby and Ian risk everything to prevent their way of life from being destroyed.


Told through the eyes of Ian and Abby, WINTER’S EDGE is a YA urban fantasy adventure that merges science and the spirit realm, complete at about 106,000 words. This is a stand-alone book with series potential.




Level 1 7 posts since
Dec 20, 2013
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1. Jul 12, 2014 5:23 PM in response to: B.N.Carman
Re: PITCH: Winter's Edge (Need Feedback)

Wow, really sounds like trouble for our heroes. Good Luck with it I give the pitch an eight out of ten.

Level 0 34 posts since
Sep 23, 2011
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2. Jul 12, 2014 7:40 PM in response to: JlovesAriel
Re: PITCH: Winter's Edge (Need Feedback)

Thank yous again, Ariel. My book is very controversial. It's dedicated to Chris Hedges and John Podesta. Hedges said there are  things we never talkabout. So I talked about all of them I loved John Podesta for taking a role in the wonderful documentary Earth2100 which appeared sevaral years after I wrote Children. You can check it out on Youtube. Bob Woodruff said, "To change the future first you have to imagine it." I did. I think it's a good story. Good characters. A great dog...


I'm going to check out Winter's Edge. Mahalo and Aloha Bettejo

Level 0 34 posts since
Sep 23, 2011
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3. Jul 12, 2014 8:07 PM in response to: B.N.Carman
Re: PITCH: Winter's Edge (Need Feedback)

Brian, sounds like a book I'd love to read.


My book has one of the children, CLAIR, who has total recall and  'sees things'. I loved er so much I made her narrator of the sequel, CLAIR Child of the Extinction. It's  a Love story. I'm 3/4 of the way through. My characters are 'real' people tossed into a  collapse of civilization-pandemic, tsunami, hurricane- on Kauai.  The 6th most beautiful island in the world.


Mine is adult fantasy.


Keep up the good work, Brian. Can't wait to read it. I love Ian and Abby already. Sound like Clair and Hank.


Aloha and mahalo Bettejo

Level 5 7,447 posts since
Feb 1, 2008
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4. Jul 13, 2014 8:28 AM in response to: B.N.Carman
Re: PITCH: Winter's Edge (Need Feedback)

Sounds wonderful. A book I'd read any day of the week.


Good luck with it.


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